By Isobel Williams
Back in the day, everyone knew their neighbours. Neighbours were more than just the noisy people who lived on either side of your own apartment; they were baby-sitters, dog-walkers, cat-feeders, plant-waterers and, most importantly, friends.
If you was cooking and ran out of sugar you would simply pop round to 5A, jug in hand, and smile sweetly. All that time you had spare in the evenings you would spend over at 6B’s, wine in hand gossiping about the strange lady in 2E. Whilst heading out to dinner you would run into 3C in the stairwell and invite them along.
‘Health experts’ said sugar is bad for us so we stopped eating it. And since we all stopped eating it, we no longer run out and now have no excuse to drop in at the neighbours.
Next these ‘experts’ told us we needed to exercise more because apparently it’s good for us. Well there go our wine-and-gossip evenings as we are all far too busy attending gym classes and body boot camps during the evenings and weekends to socialise with the neighbours.
And then, due to the fact we are all having to be healthy but no longer have time to cook, the latest trend of healthy meals delivered in bulk straight to your doorstep each week has soared – brilliant or what? We no longer have to worry about shopping or cooking or indeed leaving the apartment at all. However this means we no longer see our neighbours at all, and they never see us.
So it is time we all start to ignore these so called ‘beneficial’ health trends and go back to eating sugar and drinking copious amounts of alcohol to keep our communities and friendships from falling apart. Wine and chocolate, here I come!by